Recently both children have taken language acquisition and put a big fat stamp of individuality on it.
In Alfie’s case I wish it wasn't so because having wracked my brains for weeks to work out who he sounds like, I have now remembered. I just wish I could forget.
A few weeks ago Alfie decided that the perfect way to express surprise and incredulity was to start saying “Whaaaaaaaaaaa?!” in what I now realise is a near perfect take-off of the tone used by Tim-The-Tool-And-Coke-Man-Taylor in Home Improvements.
Remember that show? Do ya? DO YA?!? With the misogyny, and the over indulgent wife, and OHMYGOD the chauvinism.
I’m not a cruel person so I’m sorry to embed the link here, but click on it and you too can remind yourself of the glory days of 90s TV scheduling.
And right at the end, just as the credits come crashing to a gloriously amusing crescendo you will hear Tim’s trademark “huuuuuuuh?!” which my son now says the exact.same.way. Every time I hear it I wish I’d had my next tattoo done already so I could look at my arm and repeat “This too Shall Pass” until I didn’t feel like selling him for spare parts.
Esme on the other hand has developed a much cuter new word. Which goes without saying because somehow, Keith and I managed to breed an embryonic girlie girl who at the tender age of 17 months instinctively hunches her shoulders, drops her head to one side and FLUTTERS HER EYELASHES every time she says “please” or “thank you” while giving you this cutesy “you can’t say no” smile which you KNOW she’s perfected because her father, in all honesty, can’t say no.
Anyway, her new word. It’s bike. As in motorbike.
She’s just obsessed with them and every time she hears or sees one she has to announce it. And I don’t mean she says the word, NOSIR, I mean she gives you this look of “Holy shit mum, you’re not going to believe this! I mean I don’t quite believe it, but I swear I just heard it. A motorbike! Yeah, I know! An honest to goodness BIKE!!” and screeches “BAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII” at you. It doesn't matter the time gap, but this is repeated for every single bike she sees or hears, days, hours, minutes or even seconds apart.
I’ll let you think for a minute about what her reaction is going to be when we take the children to Silverstone to ACTUALLY WATCH THE BAAAAAIIIIII.