I was supposed to see the same community midwife as I had last time and was actually looking forward to meeting up with her and seeing if we could start out positively. Instead I had another member of the team who I don’t think I saw last time: I’m pretty sure I would have remembered her condescending attitude.
So for a start this other midwife didn't have any packs with her, so she added me to the list of people the usual midwife needed to call to arrange a booking appointment. Isn’t that why I’m here? I’ve seen the doctor, now I’m here to be booked aren’t I? No? OK I’m here to book my booking. Oh good. Do you find that system usually works well for working parents who have to make arrangements to NOT be at work in order to come to these things?
So instead we "chatted": She asked about my due date and I made the point about my longer cycle and she asked if it had been an issue at Aflie's birth. I said I'd gone to 43 before being induced simply for being post dates and she was very sympathetic about how unfair that was.
Next we moved onto what hospital I had chosen, which was when I made the fatal mistake of telling her I wanted a homebirth.
“Is that what your son was?”.
“No he was a section after a failed induction”
*record scratches to a halt and her eyes make like dinner plates*
"Wow, you're brave ... You know we won't want you to birth at home because you're high risk ..."
I pretty much switched off after that while she tried to simultaneously tried to tell me she was sure I was aware of the risks while also letting me know any freedom of thought would be much frowned on.
I came away from that meeting feeling so deflated and tired and stressed. I mailed Mel an update and she sent me back exactly the words I needed to hear which just makes me so thankful I have her support for this pregnancy.
I started getting some material together today around risks and stats – and here’s a scary one for you.
A VBAC gives a 1:200 chance of uterine rupture, or 0.5% if you like your numbers buttered that way up. However, if you have a repeat section your change of needing a hysterectomy are 1:90, or 1.1%. That means in the “OMG SOMETHING SCARY IS GOING TO HAPPEN!!” stakes, it is over TWICE as risky to choose to have a subsequent section as it is to attempt a VBAC.
Bet the doctors don’t bring THAT one up with me in a hurry!
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