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The first thing I have to announce is news of great ... actually I'm not sure what it's news of, right now it is news of great dread.

Hope you're all sitting down here ....


Seriously!! There is actual real life honest to goodness toofypeg sticking out of gum.

Why is that NOT news of great joy? Well recall the tale of Chicken Licken if you will, he of the falling sky. Now just imagine for one second what would have happened if instead of acorns, big feck off chunks of cumuli nimbus had hit the turf, closely followed by the sun, a full moon and a few million stars. Imagine his hysteria.

Welcome to my world.

After 7 long months of worrying that his teeth were coming, THEY HAVE FINALLY ARRIVED. Now my son REALLY has something to be upset about!!

He has managed a few moments of happiness today though. One was first thing this morning, when his dad went on a daily courgette harvest (seriously, three plants is WAY too much for a family of less than 20) and found one that had previously slipped through the net.

Submarine net perhaps?

That beauty has made a vat of soup today in case you were interested in what one does with something like that.

The second was visiting his favourite member of the family - Delia. The two of them have this really weird connection thing going on. He adores her, and she in turn comes over to the fence and stands warbling back at him and NOT PECKING HIM.

I capitalise that because if there were angel chickens, and one came floating into their pen offering to show her the way to eternal happiness, that mean troll of a bird would waddle straight up to her and peck her in the face. She tried to steal my engagement ring the other day by attempting to peck the inconvenience finger - mine - into confetti.

Not my boy though, the two of them are clearly of the same world. Which worries me somewhat because I don't want the day to come when I have to hold my son back with a pointy stick.

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