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This is so weird, I haven’t felt like this for months.

On the 2nd Jan I had the slightest sign that I might have an egg implanting. This month is my month off from caring though, so I shrugged my shoulders and carried on with life and love and general barely contained chaos.

And now it’s Day 30, and I should have had a visit from Aunt Flo by now ... but I haven’t. I nearly choked at lunch when I realised it was the 12th. I checked my calendar just to be double sure and yup, Day 30. I stuffed the rest of my lunch down my throat and went to Waitrose to get a test but by the time I had done that I didn’t have much left in my bladder.

I managed to squeeze a few drops out and the line said the test had worked, but no sign of a BFP.

I don’t feel much of anything right now. Bit bloated, but not achy in a coming on kinda way, and emotionally, I’m just sighing and carrying on. By rights I should wait a week until I do another test, but I don’t think anyone has ever managed that, and I’m not about to be the first. I’ll test tomorrow morning and see what happens.

Don’t think I’ll say anything to Keith at the moment – I can’t stand that feeling of having let him down every month and the feeling is twice as bad if I've made some stupid reference to being late and he gets his hopes up.

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